65×365 #7 Amy

Such paradoxical, hypocritical, confusing feelings I have when it comes to you.   I know I’m a judgmental bitch. I freely admit I’m partly jealous. But I also know how impossible it is for me to reconcile what you did, that I think is so inherently wrong, with how much I love and miss you… not to mention how inherently right your result was. It kills me.

A Holiday For Two

2  men.  A couple. 

2 women.  Not.

2 tries to get dessert to come out.

2 flavors of homemade ice cream.

2 dollars each for pretty table setting materials.

2 bottles of champagne.  Ummmm plus wine.

2 sinkfuls of water to wash the dishes.

2 Excedrin.

See?  A holiday for two.

Grace

I’d like to give  my sincere thanks to Schmutzie, who has created a community that just plain makes my life better: Grace in Small Things.

My sixth grade history teacher used to review for tests with us, allowing us to go through our notes and ask which information would be covered. We’d ask, “Do we have to know [fill in fascinating history fact or theory]?” and he’d correct us, “Do we GET to know…?” Forcing ourselves to learn these things was a privilege, not a chore.

Grace in Small Things is kind of like that. Do we have to find five places, every day for a year, in which we found grace in this day or for that matter, at any time in our lives? We do, but the best part is, we GET to find grace. In small things, in big things, in struggle and strife and joy and despair and pleasure and peace.

But I’m learning that finding grace isn’t the reward, really. Just the search for it forces me examine my day, my life, myself from a different perspective. This steady daily exercise is a treat in itself. It is becoming habit to face the good things in every situation, whether I want to or not. This positive focus is seeping into all aspects of my life and not only making it easier to be happy, but making me want to be happy. That hasn’t always been the case.

So far, I haven’t had a crisis of grace. I’m sure it will come, but by then I hope that simply the search for grace, even in the darkness, will be my grace in that day. I’m so happy to learn that is enough.

65×365 #6: Randy Something

You are another rink rat from the Skateland days (who in our generation doesn’t have a Skateland in his or her past, I ask you?).  Anyway, when I told you once I hated kids whose jeans had creases in them, and you asked why, and I said, because that means they have somebody who irons their jeans for them… I didn’t mean I hated you. 

 

My first time.

Be gentle with me. 

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

via schmutzie

65×365 #4 Wendy P

I miss you most of all, Wenny.  Really, that should be the summation, but I really want to end on:  I am so sorry that I ruined the first time your now-husband told you he loved you by following his “Do you know I love you?” to YOU, with “Do you know *I* love *YOU*?” to him.  But come on, who knew he was serious?

65×365 #3 Michelle C.

I should’ve taken satisfaction from ordering my combo meal from you.  But I was still coming to terms with the fact that it was you who my best friend from birth had enlisted to call me and, pretending to be his stepmother, relate the “news” — a lie — that the boy who wrote that he loved me was dead.  I wonder if you’re still such a cunt.

Randomx365 #2 Angie. I think. Oh, and turns out the number is 65.

Remember that time we had dinner?  And we barely knew each other?  I was ready to be friends.   Even now, your raspy voice is still recognizable – congrats on that national  commercial!  But you spent the whole dinner showing me, with vinegar and oil bottle visual aids, how my boyfriend didn’t value me.  Then you asked me if you’d gone too far, for a stranger.  DUH.

Randomx365 #1: Cheryl B.

I think you were trying to show us how red you could make your face when you peed your pants on the bus in fifth grade.  But I will always remember your phone number and hearing you say to your mother as you hung up after our grade school conversation one day, “I feel so sorry for [Chickiedoodle]. She never has anyone to talk to.”

It feels, sometimes, like even God has judged me not good enough.